Friday 1 January 2010

SOME MORE FEEDBACK FOR GRACE HOY ON DESCRIPTIVE WRITING STYLE

Again I've had problems leaving comments on your work so I hope you get to see this!

I really enjoyed reading this piece and sharing the experience with you. Through your detailed descriptions and use of effective literary devices, I was able, as the reader to put myself in the shoes of the narator and experience exactly as they are. You have used a range of appropriate adjectives and adverbs to further portray the experience. I particularly like the use of onomatopoeia when describing the sounds of the instruments as this really taps in to our hearing sense allowing the reader not only to visualize but to hear also.
Have you checked the word count though as looking at the text, it does seem quite long? Depending on the wordcount, it would be quite nice to extend the penultimate descriptive paragraph in terms of the actual physical performance.
This is a really effective and enjoyable piece to read and you have included a lovely range of literary devices.
I have left my writing drafts quite late, so I would really appreciate it if you could leave me some feedback on the piece I have so far uploaded.
Happy New Year
Sarah-Louise

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